Brave Humans

To me, life is gray. It’s not just because it’s winter in the northeast, either. It’s getting harder to say, “this is right; that’s wrong.” I just don’t see things in black and white anymore…the older I get, the grayer everything seems. Yes, I do still hate broccoli, that’s an easy one. But abortion? Capital punishment? Private schools? Drugs? Things used to seem so clear when I was younger…now, not so much. I prefer to believe that I’d a better thinker now, not that I’m wishy-washy. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are usually more than two sides to an issue.

I remember the first time this really sunk in… as an adult, no less. I was in my first class in graduate school. (This is a second-career focus for me, so I was almost 40 years old… perhaps a bit late to be hit by insight, but there you are.) There were three of us in the class, and our assignment was to summarize several learning theories. I read mine first, confident and successful (as opposed to terrified and overwhelmed as on my first day in class). I then listened to the reports of the two other students. My mouth may have fallen open. (I hope not, but it certainly could have.) Each of us had covered the same topic with profoundly different approaches. The problem was, when I first attacked the assignment, I distinctly remember thinking, “Well, this is straightforward. I know how to do this.” It had simply never even occurred to me that there could be other avenues… but there were. All of us had reached the same objective. And all of us were correct.

Though I’m almost through with my dissertation now, that is one of the most important bits of wisdom I picked up in graduate school.** Most issues, whether political, societal, educational, religious, economic, artistic… have more than just two sides. I’ve concluded that our society is very often a functioning duality. He’s a Republican; she’s a Democrat (but I’m independent). Teachers are overpaid; we need to pay teachers more (but what if our educational system is obsolete?). “Brokeback Mountain” was the best movie of 2005; “Brokeback Mountain” was indecent (but what if I just can’t watch heart-wrenching drama for entertainment?).

Nowadays, so much of the news I see, so many discussions I hear revolve around “either this or that.” No in-between, no outside the box, no reconceptualization. You are either for us or against us.

Well, no. Maybe I’m for EVERYONE and would like to find a solution that benefits all. Maybe I see the issue in a completely different focus. And maybe, sometimes, as in the case of that grad assignment, we are really saying the same thing, only in different ways. We just have to realize that. And if our mouths hang open, so be it.

Be brave. Be human.
Susan

**That, and, “Everything will take longer than you think.” Seriously. It does. Once you surrender to that and plan for it, life becomes a lot easier.